gelak

assalammualaikum.

mashaALLAH.

gelak itu ketawa. gelak itu bermula dengan senyuman. gelak itu manis.kan? bila kita tengok orang yang ketawa, automatik kita akan terasa seperti hendak ketawa jugak. :) ketawa juga boleh buat seseorang yang sedih terlupa their sadness. ketawa itu banyak baiknya. banyak. setiap emosi perasaan yang ALLAH ciptakan itu ada tujuannya. ada gunanya dalam life kita. ada istimewanya. seseorang yang suka ketawa juga seringkali dilihat mempunyai raut wajah yang manis dan ceria. bagi aku, that fact can be accepted. 

tapi...

ketawa itu juga racun. ketawa itu juga membunuh. ketawa itu juga ada keburukan. mungkin banyak. mungkin sikit. i'm not sure about that.  kata orang, seseorang yang selalu ketawa sehingga mengalirkan air mata akan mengalami kesukaran atau kesusahan selepas itu. akan menghadapi masalah selepas itu. itu 

orang kata. ketawa, kalau terlalu banyak, buruk kesannya pada diri. 

Nabi pon ketawanya hanya menampakkan gigi sahaja. aku?? 

ketawa ada penawar. ketawa ada racun. 

macam itu jugak hidup. ada jalan kebaikan. ada jalan kejahatan. 

the choice is in our hand. kita yang pilih. kita yang pegang. kita yang melaluinya.

kalau kita silap memilih, jalan hidup kita boleh menjadi kelam. 

'ketawa boleh jadi racun'

kalau kita memilih jalan yang baik, maka cahaya insyaALLAH menerangi hidup kita.

'ketawa boleh jadi penawar'

ketawa. banyak 'kesannya'.

till then.

routine

assalammualaikum!

 macam ni lah muka bila kena bangun pagi jugak :)

holiday sometimes really can drive my writing mechanism so excitedly! ohho. feels like I'm having full free time on ber-blogging and writing and etc laa. if not, like when i'm busy with kuliah or so-whatever-in-the-same-boat-with-that, tak ada langsung haa free time nak write a post pon! and i dunno why. maybe.... maybe.... maybe.... ahhh i don't know what is the reason ponn.

holiday=routine.

as for this semester break, i'll be home for about 2 months! hihi but tak sampai laa kan. it's still okay. i'm enjoying it now. really. hihi. home is the best place to stay, after all. (bunyik macam selalu pegi overdesea je, :P)

okay, talk about routine- i have a new one compared to sem-break before this.
send my little bro to kindergarten every morning except weekend laa.

 hihi i was so excited with new 'task'. :)))))))))))))))))  hahaha nampak tak, sukanya sayaaaaaa! 

after subuh, i will get him dressed well, breakfast apa yang ada, then send him to tadika. he's only 3 years-old boy lagi pon. haha. that's made me excited more. because every time when wake him up, he will made that 'duckface' and said 'takmau pi skolah' 

alololololoooo comeynye laa pon. but cannot laa boy, u still have to go to tadika, to be a clever boy, aite? that's my answer everytime he refused to go.when i reach the tadika for the first time, i can see he's still so small compared to other kids in the tadika, even he looks tall for me. (mata i dah rabun ke yeee? oh no)

adamsufi, whatever it is, i just want to say, u're still my litle hero! i love you!

routine on taking a good care of litle bro, almost accomplish!
anak seniri pulak bila laa yee.

okay bai!

angah love sufi!

part of......

assalammualaikum.

till here, we meet again. ahaha kan aku sudah bilang, blog ini dianaktirikan! T____T
maafkan aku, wahai inche blogger. sudah ketidakcapaian laman waktu untuk menghapdatekan awak dengan cerita terbaharu.

ahha, this time will be focused on 'part of.....'
actually, part of... can be defined in so many ways. as i thought earlier, there are much much more stories that were built in this phrase- part of.... , as for me.

nevertheless, it's about me myself- inside and outside. satu cobaan yang until this ticka of second doesn't make anything changed properly better in a way it should. :(

and for that, I'd blame me myself. why should I? and what should be blame on? these are the questions that will always flying here and there-everywhere in my mind not less than a five second in time. then, it will repeat itself once and over again for the next becoming seconds of my thought. until I'd ignored it automatically.

it ain't easy to discover which part do it refer most, for me. but surely i will focus on this one point back and forth every time I'm having this thought - which is environment.this is the main influence, compared to others. Instead of niat, to do something as we humans, usually will depend on something:- to give we courage, support and love, which to go on with anything that we plan to.
i had my mind to think like that. always. i dunno why, but deep in my heart i know me is that type of human. me need to get that 'something'. me not a person who can stand firmly on one leg without anything to hold on. me is like that. my bad. but that is the real me. 

i dunno how to make everything better as i was all alone facing that and that and that and....... i'm making it clear then. i can't stand alone. T___T 
but that was my condition for this few sick months. fighting all alone. ahhhh, it's so bad that sometimes i fall. not once, but for so many times. i had that enough. i experienced the sick feeling. feels like i was a loser after all. i was weak to fight on. i was so numb. :(

instead of all that, HE 's still there. for every minutes i lost, HE 's there to guide me back. HE's there to consult me back. HE's there to teach me. like the phrase i encountered past few hours, 

 'sometimes when we're not going on something very well, and we were searching where HE is, just remember: Teacher is always quiet during exams.

mashaALLAH, that's stabbing me inside. deep inside to my tiny heart. HE is always there. and HE always provides us with all that we need and want, just too early or late. shame on me. 
sometimes i didn't being grateful enough for all the nikmat HE was and still giving me. astagfirullah. T__T

we humans always overlooked on the positive side but rather taking the negative side. so am I.

despite on that, i always have the chance. as long as i heading to straight part, yup? but, deep in my heart, am still not strong enough to leave behind everything that i was living with. now and back. and maybe for future too. it's not that i don't want to, i just dunno how. every single things in this world need a guidelines to start over with, and to refer continuously as anything could pop-up later in time. so am i. I'm basically a weak human, a weak girl, a lost girl who need to be guide.

as time flies, this thing- part of... would never dare to leave my mind and my heart away. since before. it's qada and qadar for me maybe, just i dunno how to make it becoming a real stand in my life, and to burst it out in order to create a new way of life. towards the way it should.

this maybe a 'lapuk' issue of me, but still it made me somehow so afraid to think of tomorrow.

yesterday is a past, yet I'd regretted it.
today is present, i still dunno if i could call it a day or not.
tomorrow is a future, i pray for a miracle to happen.

maybe someday i will get the very 'some people' to be with me come hell or high water.
even if i forgot who they are sometimes.
even if i forgot how to be 'close' with them, in all time being.
even if i forgot i should contact them always.

I'm a human. basically who does forget so many things. 
I'm so sorry if i had it done on you, whoever you are. 

and may ALLAH answer my prayer. maybe sooner or later. 

my language is so berkarat dah.

but i think i made it clear already. 

it's just a bunch of my emotions 

that really drive me crazy in

most of the time.

it's part of....